Thursday, January 15, 2009

Winter Doldrums

Those close to me know that despite my melancholy adolescence, I'm a fairly upbeat person - pretty optimistic - especially in the last couple of years. This week, however, has been a challenge to my sunny disposition. No doubt the weather has played a role. I mean come on - sub-zero temperatures, interminable gray skies, snow piled upon snow (pretty much keeping us homebound) was taking a toll. "Hmm, got the winter dull-drums?" my husband said (sort of mockingly - him who could live just fine on the north pole - but give him Texas sun and he breaks out in hives).

But I did - have the winter doldrums. Nothing seemed to be working - like one of those bad dreams that you run with all of your might, but get nowhere - sweeping the floor just produced more dust and crumbs, disciplining Jane just resulted in more tantrums and our new puppy (who seemed to have mastered the housebreaking thing) had suddenly taking to pooping in the girls' pink fairy tent.

So when I woke this morning, I expected more of the same - I had, after all, heard that today's high was expected to reach a whopping -2 (that's just ridiculous). But something had shifted. As I was editing an AFR podcast last night, Dn Michael Hyatt referred to the Old Testament story regarding the Arc of the Covenant. I guess one of David's men had tried to help out and was immediately struck down dead. Sort of seems like a raw deal - but as Dn Michael points out - God doesn't need our help. That reminder lodged itself in my brain - and I awoke this morning feeling a little lighter. Of course it's not that we don't work - we do - and hard work feels good - but we don't control. Trying to control the things around me results in depression every time.

And so I will try - to pottytrain this dog and my two year old - too winterwize my old drafty house - to get the word out about Molly's amazing book - to feed my family local, wholesome foods - to teach Isabelle how to read....and on and on... but I can't and won't be able to control the outcome of my efforts. I may still find poop in the tent - but, truly, a little poop beats depression any day.

p.s - just because today really did get better, I had to post a couple more pictures. I mean, my neighbor shoveled my walkway, for goodness sake. And - Isabelle and jane got dressed all by themselves - and the sun is shining. Things are certainly looking up.


Molly Sabourin said...

This is a good one, Paige! An enjoyable and relatable read on such a crazy cold winter day. Poop (or rotting apples under the couch) IS better than depression. Thanks for the reminder.

Kelleylynn said...

Depressed, I am not after laughing about poop in the girls tent. Thank you for reminding me that I cannot take control of every thing in life.