I love this picture of my dad. He's big and strong - and surrounded by so many kids.
As I look at this picture now, I think that he is actually about my current age. I realize - how he must have realized - that one never does feel grown up or ready for one's responsibilities.
In fact, how totally overwhelming it must have felt - to have so many children dependent upon him.
****
Throughout this pregnancy, Bobby has been amazing. Cooking meals without asking, taking the girls on errands when I seem spent and even bringing me little treats (magazines, icecream, coffee drinks) just to be nice.
I was thinking that it must take a little while for men to understand that having a baby is hard work - and some pregnancies are more difficult than others - some days more trying - and you never know how the physical demands will effect your ability to get things done.
But I have been so busy trying to make Bobby understand how I feel, that I have had little time to consider his position. For example, I decide to work - or not work with little more thought than considering if I have time to knit. For Bobby - whether to work would never be an option. The luxury of "considering what he's good at" is a thing of the past. There are scary financial concerns looming over him - concerns that I care about and then forget about...
****
Today I met my friends Beth and Jared at the airport. They were returning from Ethiopia with their new little baby, Lucia. What a precious little thing she is, too. But on my drive home, I kept thinking about Jared. He was hesitant to share much information about the trip - not because it didn't affect him - quite the opposite. The whole experience affected him too profoundly to speak of casually. What's more, I could already see adoration for that little girl in his eyes.
****
I guess I'm just starting to realize how much I have misunderstood - well men! Not that they're all the same or anything - but with the important men in my life, I think I've dismissed them in a way, simply because they communicate a bit differently than my female family and friends. I've misread and possibly misjudged - and this has prevented me from truly appreciating them.
So as I look at this picture again with fresh eyes, I see a loving father - who took time out to take his many children swimming. I see a dad who was willing to be silly, energetic, and patient - when there were more pressing things to be done - probably even a much needed nap! For skipping the nap and so much more, I want to thank you, Dad. I love you. Happy Father's Day!
