Determined

Ok - so now the day is done and the laundry sits in big mounds in my basement. There's dirty dishes everywhere (even on the back porch - because I couldn't fit them on my counters). The day's emails are unanswered - and I know there was more book promoting that I could have been doing. But - today I made LASAGNA.

It's in capitals because this is different from your everyday lasagna. You betcha. This is certainly different from the packaged "Amy's" single serving lasagna I used to eat in the teacher's lounge when I was a school counselor and needed something to get me thru the day.

No, this was make your own ricotta, make your own pasta, stick it to the man kind of cooking. This was, I am more than a consumer, Whole Foods has nothing on me, I may move out to a farm kind of lasagna. Yes and "I don't mean maybe" - as my mother used to say when she was being really firm.


Last night I edited Fredrica Matthewes-Green's AFR podcast for this week. It was written when her granddaughter was a newborn and was published in Again magazine during manic Christmas shopping season. She spoke of the "Hypnotic Mall." You know the kind - with all of the people and lights and action that you turn to a zombie and make you buy lots of stuff you don't need. She then talked about how years ago mothers were teachers and chefs and artists and now they buy stuff. I'm paraphrasing, of course. You should listen to it, because it's inspiring.

Anyway, I woke up today and decided that this day, I would not be a just a consumer . No way. I've already found this amazing man that sells raw milk (for animal consumption only, ofcourse, since it's illegal to sell raw milk in Indiana). I was going to make lasagna with real fresh ricotta and homemade noodles and local beef - yes, and dangit, it took me all day - so I don't really understand how those Italian women did it without their pasta rollers and blogs to brag on - but...

I did make it. And sure, part of the reason I'm blogging is to stretch the oohs and ahhs, but I'm also blogging about it because our culture doesn't really support this kindof slowness. It's not acceptable to waste your whole day cooking. But why not? Because it's so much better to spend your day driving around or hurrying or doing weird marginally important errands? Isn't this day important enough?

Well, for my weird little household (remember, my 20 something brother lives with us) today was important enough. each individual in this house was important enough. And while I may not do this everyday (no one needs that much saturated fat in one sitting) today was quite special.

The Angel Cried

My girls singing "The Angel Cried" - directed by their cousin, Ben. Off key and adorable!

Hope

So I haven't written in a while. It's not that things haven't been happening, but rather that I haven't known what to think about them. To update you on my gardening attempts, my first round of seeds all died. This was extra discouraging given all of the attention we gave them.

My lenten journey has looked a bit like my battle with the seeds—seemingly barren. My local weather cooperated by offering an appropriately bleak backdrop.

It's just really overwhelming to try to be like Christ. He's so...perfect. He helped all those people and still managed that intensely ascetic life. And I feel really grumpy without whipping cream in my coffee - plus I'm sure I'm hypoglycemic and protein deficient (I mean, not the protein powder kind of protein deficiency, the tasty kind - like that from a bacon cheeseburger kind of deficiency).

Some scary things happened this lent. I experienced some abdominal pain - probably just the flu - but I really thought I was on the way back to the hospital for CT Scans. I'm fine now, but that week felt like a dark time.

My brother moved up here with us. Now, he's not scary, he's adorable, but it's kind of a risky move. He's just out of college and needing a job - we need help - it seemed like a win-win situation. Then he got here and I started to panic. What was I thinking? I was ruining his career, possibly creating a chaotic situation. Our financial situation surely couldn't support this. My girls, our dog and the mess are surely going to drive him insane.

But now we're into Holy Week and my mindset is starting to shift. Zach's starting to settle in - and it turns out that he's really good at this job - he's computer savvy, dependable, confident on the phone, knows about things I've never heard of (like finance), and plus he does the dishes. We've actually named our little company maddex media relations and we're quite busy!

My girls love to have their uncle around - he and Bobby play basketball with Isabelle each weekday. Jane thinks he's hilarious (and only a little scary) and Bobby has someone to watch weird movies with. From my end, Zach's working out great and I'm honored to have him here. I mean I hate doing the dishes!

Last night we reading about the Bridegroom services on the first 3 days of Holy Week in the Orthodox Church. I was reading to the girls about the 10 virgins (I think I paraphrased princesses) who were waiting for the Bridegroom. Five were prepared and five let their lights burn out. I have spent so much of my life flighty and unorganized that I'm terrified of being unprepared! But just as I run around doing things trying to force "preparations" - cleaning house, making Pascha treats, etc, etc. I read about tonight' service. It's about the pharisees eating with Jesus - and then in comes the "sinful woman" wiping Jesus' feet with her tears. I mean how beautiful is that story - but also how wise is the Church is to place that story here - lest we get unbalanced by last night's reminders?

This last week has marked a shift in Bobby, too. After several difficult weeks of working, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, he's seeing some results of his efforts. His work for AFR is becoming more manageable. He's completing articles for this quarters' SALVO and has just produced his new podcast, The Orthodox Moviegoer.

And Isabelle has found shoes that fit (no small feat)! Thanks, John and Tonya!










We still have a lot of work to do, this week. The girls' room is in shambles.


















Clothes need ironing (this precious dress was my sister, Tiffany's).




But my next set of seeds are sprouting. Ironically, I spent much less time on them. My daffodils and tulips are blooming, too - and Pascha is less than a week away.



To my precious family who has just celebrated Easter, Christ is Risen! And wishing all of my Orthodox friends and family a blessed Pascha!