Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Hope




So I haven't written in a while. It's not that things haven't been happening, but rather that I haven't known what to think about them. To update you on my gardening attempts, my first round of seeds all died. This was extra discouraging given all of the attention we gave them.

My lenten journey has looked a bit like my battle with the seeds—seemingly barren. My local weather cooperated by offering an appropriately bleak backdrop.

It's just really overwhelming to try to be like Christ. He's so...perfect. He helped all those people and still managed that intensely ascetic life. And I feel really grumpy without whipping cream in my coffee - plus I'm sure I'm hypoglycemic and protein deficient (I mean, not the protein powder kind of protein deficiency, the tasty kind - like that from a bacon cheeseburger kind of deficiency).

Some scary things happened this lent. I experienced some abdominal pain - probably just the flu - but I really thought I was on the way back to the hospital for CT Scans. I'm fine now, but that week felt like a dark time.

My brother moved up here with us. Now, he's not scary, he's adorable, but it's kind of a risky move. He's just out of college and needing a job - we need help - it seemed like a win-win situation. Then he got here and I started to panic. What was I thinking? I was ruining his career, possibly creating a chaotic situation. Our financial situation surely couldn't support this. My girls, our dog and the mess are surely going to drive him insane.

But now we're into Holy Week and my mindset is starting to shift. Zach's starting to settle in - and it turns out that he's really good at this job - he's computer savvy, dependable, confident on the phone, knows about things I've never heard of (like finance), and plus he does the dishes. We've actually named our little company maddex media relations and we're quite busy!

My girls love to have their uncle around - he and Bobby play basketball with Isabelle each weekday. Jane thinks he's hilarious (and only a little scary) and Bobby has someone to watch weird movies with. From my end, Zach's working out great and I'm honored to have him here. I mean I hate doing the dishes!

Last night we reading about the Bridegroom services on the first 3 days of Holy Week in the Orthodox Church. I was reading to the girls about the 10 virgins (I think I paraphrased princesses) who were waiting for the Bridegroom. Five were prepared and five let their lights burn out. I have spent so much of my life flighty and unorganized that I'm terrified of being unprepared! But just as I run around doing things trying to force "preparations" - cleaning house, making Pascha treats, etc, etc. I read about tonight' service. It's about the pharisees eating with Jesus - and then in comes the "sinful woman" wiping Jesus' feet with her tears. I mean how beautiful is that story - but also how wise is the Church is to place that story here - lest we get unbalanced by last night's reminders?

This last week has marked a shift in Bobby, too. After several difficult weeks of working, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, he's seeing some results of his efforts. His work for AFR is becoming more manageable. He's completing articles for this quarters' SALVO and has just produced his new podcast, The Orthodox Moviegoer.

And Isabelle has found shoes that fit (no small feat)! Thanks, John and Tonya!










We still have a lot of work to do, this week. The girls' room is in shambles.


















Clothes need ironing (this precious dress was my sister, Tiffany's).




But my next set of seeds are sprouting. Ironically, I spent much less time on them. My daffodils and tulips are blooming, too - and Pascha is less than a week away.



To my precious family who has just celebrated Easter, Christ is Risen! And wishing all of my Orthodox friends and family a blessed Pascha!

5 comments:

Grandpa Mike said...

Hey Paige,

Welcome back to your "blog site". We've missed you.

Terrific posting. Welcome to Zach to the northern USA. Wish I could be there to greet him - and the rest of my Indiana family!

Grandpa Mike

Kelleylynn said...

Paige,
I love hearing about your life...it is fully-blessed! I also cannot wait for Bobby's new AFR podcasts on movies, being huge movie buffs ourselves :)
Great Lent has this way, each year, to give us EXACTLY what we need precisely when we need it; for we all are sinners in need of Christ "to open the doors of repentance".
We tell our children each day, each time they approach the chalice "Make ready your minds, hearts and souls" the Bridegroom cometh...soon!
Blessed Holy week dear Paige (and family)

Jenn said...

Paige,
I always enjoy reading your blog and viewing life through your perspective. I so wish Owen and I could have joined your reading about the virgins (or princesses!). Your sprouting flowers are delightful. I also loved seeing Tiffany's dress...so precious.
Can't wait to see you in June!
Love,
Jenn

Beth said...

Always so good to hear from you especially since at this time in our life, talking on the phone is a bit of a dance involving schedules and small children. And as always, this particular time of the year makes me miss my dear friends the most. Oh yes, Pascha will be Pascha, wonderful and joyful but I wistfully remember all of you singing these songs I love so much, not to mention, eating tacos and drinking margaritas. Consider Davenport. We are joining a CSA and have good food, music, and a great river all around us. Know again, that you all are in our thoughts and prayers. Love to you, B

Jenny said...

Paige,

Love this glimpse into your home and life--it helps to know that somebody else is struggling to find balance. I love how the untidy room and dress in need of ironing (worn your sister Tiffany, no less, that's really powerful) is balanced by the seeds. What a beautiful, hopeful image.