GO JANIE, GO!

When I was a little girl, I was pretty confident. I was first to raise my hand in class, introduced myself and my siblings to "new people", and even challenged babysitters on their competency. By fifth grade, I had written a letter to president Reagan, contacted Yale university about their entrance requirements and started a little business doing neighborhood chores that payed for my first puppy.

My weak point was athletics. More specifically, it was running relay races. I LOATHED them. Inevitably some annoying red head boy with freckles and a stopped up nose would observe loudly, "that girl is SOOO SLOW!"

It seemed to me, like some mean prank. I talked fast, thought fast, had big fast plans, even bordered on hyperactive, yet as my sister later joked, "was at odds with the physical world." I clearly remember entering a new school and having to do relay races on the first day as an "icebreaker." It was a private school and we raced down this weird carpeted hallway (I promise this was not a dream). I was on the purple team and the races last all week during recess. Each night before school I would pray that I could somehow, miraculously find SPEED. I never did. I found that feigning a fall sometimes helped (although other times it would look obvious and make matters way worse).

Anyway, I'm older now - more sure of myself and my body - I've had two babies and now take a class at the Y (ymca) called "ZUMBA." I just adore Zumba. It's like Jane Fonda meets the club scene - in Miami. So I've been going to this crazy Latina dance party aerobics class for about 8 months now. Some weeks I get there more than others, but recently I've been going a lot - 3 to 5 times a week. I've even started dressing a little more Zumba-ish (tighter, tankier clothes) and feeling pretty good.

So anyway, I'm dancing my heart out one morning - neither my sister-in-law or good friend were there, so I was really givin' it all I got. "Wow, I look good," I was secretly thinking to myself. I mean, granted, it was a skinny mirror, but heck, I was really getting the hang of this.

Then I went to get a drink in between songs. I was pouring sweat from my efforts and a bit had gotten into my eye. "Is this your first time at Zumba," a voice asked. I wiped my eye and could see that it was the girl who had been standing behind me. My first time? What?

I'm not kidding, I nearly hit her. That would have been bad. A sad ending to my family's Y membership. And then I realized: dang, I've been coming for 8 months, that really stinks that you thought that. What a reality check - I mean I truly thought that I was co-teaching that girl. Visions of the purple team relay race came swirling into focus. My sister-in-law told me later that that girl was probably just making small talk. Sure.


Needless to say, it has been pure joy watching my oldest daughter Isabelle conquer the physical world. From the time she was teeny tiny, she has attempted to lift, climb, race just about anything that has entered her path.

My daughter Jane has been a different story. Softer, slower, she entered the world verbally rather than physically. I thought she was a girl after my own heart - or body, rather.

Well...getting to the point, this Sunday, Jane surpassed my athletic ability, shattering a box I had put her in. At the church carnival, she raced (gleefully, willingly) and BEAT her opponent (a stunning 2 year old male). Yes, Gabe may have been distracted by the toy whistle or lollipop that he had in his mouth. He may have misunderstood the object of a relay race (since he is only two). However, my daughter won the race. And instead of murmurs of, "wow, that girl is really slow " there was a soft, continuous chanting, " Go, Janie, Go."

Cherries

So today Isabelle, Jane and I went on a fieldtrip to Niles, Mi with our sweet friends Kris, Mikey and Del (in fact, today Del turned 2! Happy Birthday, little guy). Anyway, we picked cherry after sour cherry - eating them, squishing them and dribbling them all over our clothes. The kids were bored quickly, and chose instead to play "Sleeping Beauty" in between trees. That left Kris and I to fill our enormous buckets by ourselves. Luckily the weather cooperated - neither raining nor blazing hot - and within a couple of hours, we were rinsing them in big metal buckets and waiting our turn at the pitter (yes, free pitting) what could be better!

Now, hours later, I'm cherrying it up - jam, pie, even a sour cherry martini to start the evening off in style!. Nothing's turning out too well - I mean, I really prefer wine to sour cherry martinis and the jam looks both too runny and too chunky at the same time, but hey, these cherries came off the tree today! They weren't shipped from goodness knows where, sitting on a truck for days and touched by who knows how many hands. No way.

So visiting Lehman's Tart Cherry Orchard clarified something for me. In all honesty, it was not just the Orchard, but rather a heartfelt conversation with Molly, countless brainstorming sessions with Zach and a quick catch-up conversation with my talented artist sister, Bethany. Regardless, our little business (maddex media relations) is refining it's approach. What I want to do - what really energizes and excites me, is encouraging others. Weird, right? but what I want to do it promote the underdog. Any small business, artist, author or friend who needs help promoting their work. Fortunately Zach is technologically and mathematically skilled. With the installation of our new programs (the Adobe Creative Suite along with Dreamweaver and the new microsoft office) we are preparing to offer professional graphic design services. Hmmm - if only we knew an artist/photographer that needed a job...(Just kidding, Bethany, you can do freelance work for us where ever you are).

This doesn't mean that I don't want to become the premier Orthodox Christian Publicist, I do! It's just that I think that will unfold in time. I'm building contacts, logging experiences and learning about book promotion. In the meantime, however, Sander's Dairy Farm sells fresh milk, local honey and Amish butter. They just opened a store and we need to get the word out! My dear friend Kris is an amazing florist. Although she's busy making cheese, ruhbarb soda and parenting four kids, her beautiful arrangements have made a name for herself. She's quite talented and is taking clients! The wedding arrangements she does are fabulous! Just check her blog.

All in all, this is just a great time in my life. Cooking, gardening, encouraging my friends and community, learning about my girls and how to parent them - these are fun and interesting endeavors. Stay tuned to see this reflected on our website!

The Bright Side

It has been so long since my last post. I have many excuses, not the least of which is the lack of a camera. For a while I was taking pictures on Bobby's phone - but as of May something or other the phone file filled to capacity and it is beyond Bobby or I how to unfill it. Ridiculous and a bit like my parents (no offense Mom or Dad) but true.

So, supposing I did have a camera...

I would take a close up of Isabelle - crazy curls highlighted from our days outdoors - and show you the space left by her tiny bottom tooth that now sits in an envelope under her pillow. (I keep praying I won't forget to replace the tooth with a dollar bill - how horrible that would be?). She is very proud, and I love to watch her preen in front of our dining room mirror - sticking her tongue in and out of that space. You can actually watch her growing up - it's happening that quickly.

My garden, on the other hand, is NOT growing. I guess I would take a picture of that, too - sad little tomato plants, wilted bean stalks, and yellowed cucumber leaves. You've really gotta hand it to those farmers. I could get kind of down about that - and other losses, really.

I've been thinking a lot about having another baby. So much so, actually, that I called the dr from the Mayo clinic to see what he thought about another pregnancy. The conversation was anticlimactic. He said he had no idea what to expect as my condition is so rare.

I also have been daydreaming about a house on the next street (grass is always greener, right?). It's much bigger and prettier and right across the street from Molly, Troy and the cousins. I ran into the woman who owns it and she said that she would like to sell it in a couple of years...So there I go crunching numbers; planning and wasting time figuring out how we could buy it.

Yet in the meantime, I have a great house. While my vegetable garden is piddly, my flowers are beautiful. Blue hydrangeas are blooming, as are three different types of roses, snapdragans, gerber daisies and and lavender. What's more, my brother has discovered that hardwood lies under linolium (which is under carpet). This weekend he pulled almost all of it up and the wood is beautiful! Quite a nice surprise. I would love to have had a picture of him working on those floors!

I remember always doing this - looking ahead. When I was in junior high I could wait until highschool. I was desperate to be "on my own" yet not long after starting college, I couldn't wait to get married. But, a year and a half ago, after being so sick, I was happy to just be alive. I wish I could hold on to that perspective - it's elusive...

If my camera was working, I would take a picture of my adorable Jane - sleeping in her own bed (no more crib) - looking nothing less than angelic with her white blond ringlets fanned out in a circle on her pillow.

I do have one picture. I had the opportunity to stay with my dear friend, Jen, who has recently had an adorable baby boy. Because my little ones are a bit more independent, I was able to go with my best friends to visit sweet Jen. What a gift. Molly took this picture and I like it because sitting there in the midst of good friends, holding a newborn, it reminds me to be content in the moment.

Determined

Ok - so now the day is done and the laundry sits in big mounds in my basement. There's dirty dishes everywhere (even on the back porch - because I couldn't fit them on my counters). The day's emails are unanswered - and I know there was more book promoting that I could have been doing. But - today I made LASAGNA.

It's in capitals because this is different from your everyday lasagna. You betcha. This is certainly different from the packaged "Amy's" single serving lasagna I used to eat in the teacher's lounge when I was a school counselor and needed something to get me thru the day.

No, this was make your own ricotta, make your own pasta, stick it to the man kind of cooking. This was, I am more than a consumer, Whole Foods has nothing on me, I may move out to a farm kind of lasagna. Yes and "I don't mean maybe" - as my mother used to say when she was being really firm.


Last night I edited Fredrica Matthewes-Green's AFR podcast for this week. It was written when her granddaughter was a newborn and was published in Again magazine during manic Christmas shopping season. She spoke of the "Hypnotic Mall." You know the kind - with all of the people and lights and action that you turn to a zombie and make you buy lots of stuff you don't need. She then talked about how years ago mothers were teachers and chefs and artists and now they buy stuff. I'm paraphrasing, of course. You should listen to it, because it's inspiring.

Anyway, I woke up today and decided that this day, I would not be a just a consumer . No way. I've already found this amazing man that sells raw milk (for animal consumption only, ofcourse, since it's illegal to sell raw milk in Indiana). I was going to make lasagna with real fresh ricotta and homemade noodles and local beef - yes, and dangit, it took me all day - so I don't really understand how those Italian women did it without their pasta rollers and blogs to brag on - but...

I did make it. And sure, part of the reason I'm blogging is to stretch the oohs and ahhs, but I'm also blogging about it because our culture doesn't really support this kindof slowness. It's not acceptable to waste your whole day cooking. But why not? Because it's so much better to spend your day driving around or hurrying or doing weird marginally important errands? Isn't this day important enough?

Well, for my weird little household (remember, my 20 something brother lives with us) today was important enough. each individual in this house was important enough. And while I may not do this everyday (no one needs that much saturated fat in one sitting) today was quite special.

The Angel Cried

My girls singing "The Angel Cried" - directed by their cousin, Ben. Off key and adorable!

Hope

So I haven't written in a while. It's not that things haven't been happening, but rather that I haven't known what to think about them. To update you on my gardening attempts, my first round of seeds all died. This was extra discouraging given all of the attention we gave them.

My lenten journey has looked a bit like my battle with the seeds—seemingly barren. My local weather cooperated by offering an appropriately bleak backdrop.

It's just really overwhelming to try to be like Christ. He's so...perfect. He helped all those people and still managed that intensely ascetic life. And I feel really grumpy without whipping cream in my coffee - plus I'm sure I'm hypoglycemic and protein deficient (I mean, not the protein powder kind of protein deficiency, the tasty kind - like that from a bacon cheeseburger kind of deficiency).

Some scary things happened this lent. I experienced some abdominal pain - probably just the flu - but I really thought I was on the way back to the hospital for CT Scans. I'm fine now, but that week felt like a dark time.

My brother moved up here with us. Now, he's not scary, he's adorable, but it's kind of a risky move. He's just out of college and needing a job - we need help - it seemed like a win-win situation. Then he got here and I started to panic. What was I thinking? I was ruining his career, possibly creating a chaotic situation. Our financial situation surely couldn't support this. My girls, our dog and the mess are surely going to drive him insane.

But now we're into Holy Week and my mindset is starting to shift. Zach's starting to settle in - and it turns out that he's really good at this job - he's computer savvy, dependable, confident on the phone, knows about things I've never heard of (like finance), and plus he does the dishes. We've actually named our little company maddex media relations and we're quite busy!

My girls love to have their uncle around - he and Bobby play basketball with Isabelle each weekday. Jane thinks he's hilarious (and only a little scary) and Bobby has someone to watch weird movies with. From my end, Zach's working out great and I'm honored to have him here. I mean I hate doing the dishes!

Last night we reading about the Bridegroom services on the first 3 days of Holy Week in the Orthodox Church. I was reading to the girls about the 10 virgins (I think I paraphrased princesses) who were waiting for the Bridegroom. Five were prepared and five let their lights burn out. I have spent so much of my life flighty and unorganized that I'm terrified of being unprepared! But just as I run around doing things trying to force "preparations" - cleaning house, making Pascha treats, etc, etc. I read about tonight' service. It's about the pharisees eating with Jesus - and then in comes the "sinful woman" wiping Jesus' feet with her tears. I mean how beautiful is that story - but also how wise is the Church is to place that story here - lest we get unbalanced by last night's reminders?

This last week has marked a shift in Bobby, too. After several difficult weeks of working, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, he's seeing some results of his efforts. His work for AFR is becoming more manageable. He's completing articles for this quarters' SALVO and has just produced his new podcast, The Orthodox Moviegoer.

And Isabelle has found shoes that fit (no small feat)! Thanks, John and Tonya!










We still have a lot of work to do, this week. The girls' room is in shambles.


















Clothes need ironing (this precious dress was my sister, Tiffany's).




But my next set of seeds are sprouting. Ironically, I spent much less time on them. My daffodils and tulips are blooming, too - and Pascha is less than a week away.



To my precious family who has just celebrated Easter, Christ is Risen! And wishing all of my Orthodox friends and family a blessed Pascha!

A Youtube video we stumbled upon

I can't get over this - It's absolutely beautiful. We have no idea who put this together - but it's amazing.